humor SOCCER AND SAINTS FUTBOL Y SANTOS

HUMOR , #Saints, #Soccer, #Soccer players, futbol, gol, players, world SANTOS

SOCCER AND SAINTS


   It was a huge Roman Amphitheater where all of humanity could be found, located throughout the Northern Hemisphere. And it was going to produce a great event: a very special game.
   The players were San Toribio, San Juan Bosco and San Jorge. The three had to throw penalties to the goalkeeper - there was only one court - to goalkeeper San Maradona. Whoever scored the most goals would become the Holy Official of World Soccer.
    Santa Fefa was the treasurer with thousands of suitcases full of Euros and Dollars. The referee: Angel Gabriel with his two wings could blow the whistle and display red or yellow cards. He had good eyesight and flew alone as an Angel does.
   The amphitheater was full and all countries with their different religions were present. The three Saints came out onto the lawn.
    First, San Juan Bosco scored a goal. The public raised a shout of joy that made God wake up from their morning nap. Then it was San Toribio's turn and he scored, the town raved, as did San Jorge. San Maradona could not cope with so many goals.
   In the end the three Saints were tied. The vacancy of the Saint of Soccer was vacant.
   Then the Devil intervened and shouted:
  -As I have a lot, a lot, money, I'm going to invest in these players.
    Santa Fefa made a nod of agreement. But a spokesman for the people - I think it was Chinese or Korean said:
  -That nothing Satan. This sport is the only religion in which we all understand each other. Do not demonize sport like everything you do: a shit.

DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ

CUBAN URUGUAYAN,GENIUS

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2019

WIKIPEDIA DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ URUGUAYAN CUBAN UROLOGY DOCTOR,WRITER,IN ENGLISH

WIKIPEDIA DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ URUGUAYAN CUBAN UROLOGY DOCTOR BORN IN GUANTANAMO, CUBA, FEBRUARY 2, 1957 DEATH IN PUNTA DEL ESTE, URUGUAY, AUGUST 18, 2019. LIVED IN CUBA, NICARAGUA AND URUGUAY. IN URUGUAY I DIRECT A PAIN RELIEF CLINIC AND INTRODUJO IN COUNTRY URUGUAY THE OZONOTERAPIA.
AS WRITER WRITTEN NOVELS, TALES AND POEMS, PUBLISHED IN AMAZON. BIBLIOGRAPHY -MEMORIES OF A GUANTANAMERO CHILD -CHINANDEGA, SECRETS OF CUBAN DOCTORS .DE PALMAS AND OMBUES, LOVE IS STRONGER .MI MOM AND THE DEMON . OF DOGS AND TIRANS . ADULT TALES, WITH THE WRITER AMILCAR LEGAZCUE DE LEON. . PROSTITUTES AND PROSTITUTES, WITH AMILCAR LEGAZCUE DE LEON.

ONLY MEN,SOLO HOMBRES

Urology ,man,urologists,conversation with ORLO

urology ,man,urologists,conversation with ORLO

CONVERSATION WITH ORLO

-YEAR 2000
---- MY DINNER WITH ARCO ORLO------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------UROLOGISTS-------------------_ I HAVE CUT MANY DICKS -PINGAS-WITH CANCER, EVEN OF YOUNG MEN AND WERE SAVED AND LIVE MASCULINITY OF MEMORIES._AND THEY DO WITH THE ORGAN?_WE'RE SENT TO THE CLINIC TO SAVE IN CHLOROFORM, LABELING AND ARCHIVING, AS WELL AS THE FORESKINS OF CIRCUMCISION OR STRANGLING PENISES BY SKIN._FOR WHAT?_IN CASE ANY MALPRACTICE LAWSUIT MAKES ... A FATHER ONCE CAME, THOSE WHO WERE NEVER INTERESTED IN HIS CHILDREN AND GAVE HER A SHOT A NURSE BECAUSE HE SAID HE DID NOT NEED TAKE NO GUTS OR EGGS ...A YOUNG MAN RESISTS THE OPERATION AND CRACK THE CANCER AS A CAULIFLOWER, IT IS IMPREGNATED WITH FETID ODOR BEFORE DYING.'_I TOLD HIM, SOMETIMES, IT IS BETTER WITHOUT A PENIS, BUT ALIVE ... ................................ .................................................. ...........

__MARRIED / A UNFAITHFUL. ANYWHERE THERE IS ALWAYS A (MILLION) INFORMER (SNITCH) NEXT "SEGUROSO". THEY ARE MORE REALISTIC THAT THE KING BECAUSE THEY ARE VOCATIONAL. INVENT REGULATIONS OR GIVE RETROACTIVE DECREES MENTIONED THAT NOBODY FINDS AND LEAVE NO WRITTEN OR SIGNED RECORD. OFFICIALS ARE AFRAID OF THE NAKED KING. THEY ARE THE PAGES OF THE GHETTO CLOSED AND PARANOID SOCIETY. ALWAYS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ANY DANGEROUS THOUGHT. THEY ARE GREENISH DROOL INSIDE, SUFFERING FROM INTERNAL HYDROCEPHALUS AND DIARRHEA, ALTHOUGH THEY LIVE IN GOOD HOUSES. AS MONTEVIDEO IS A TINY CITY SNEAKS ONE FINDS AND KNOWS BY THE SMELL OF PUTREFACTION THAT EXCEEDS THE KENSO. I WENT UP TO A GROUP (SAY GUAGA, BUS, HARE) AND A FASHION MAD ATTEMPT TO SEDUCE ME WITH ITS LORQUIAN BIG EYES AND WHEN I KNEW HE WAS THE SECRETARY OF THE SECRETARY AND LOVER OF LOVER ATTORNEY-TYPE, SNEAK, THAT I WAS APPLIED THE STRANGER AND RETROACTIVE DECREE AND I SAID: 'EVEN THE SALAMANDER IS IN THE FIREPLACE? HE, I SAID WITHOUT EMPHASIS, INGLORIOUS. THE LITTLE SEDUCER FLEW OUT THE WINDOW LIKE A GHOST BY NEON TUBES SCAPED .................... ..................................................
--- -GARRAPATA PREFER TO BUCOWSKY (WRITE WELL?) OR REINALDO ARENAS, LEZAMA LIMA, PARADISO FASCINATES ME I THOUGH, THAT BAROQUE IS A CATCHY AMOEBA INTERCOURSE THAT NEVER ENDS, SO TICK AS GREAT CONSTRUCTIVISM TORRES GARCIA .......................................
4-ONE MORE IMAGINED AT DAWN, I DO NOT LET ME SLEEP, ARE AT 7 A.M, I'LL WRITE IT AND I DO NOT REMEMBER, I WILL RETURN TO TORTURE ME SOME NIGHT WHITHER, S ... IT WENT?.............................................------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE UPSIDEWHEN ORLO WAS 9, HER FRIEND MELANIA WAS 11, BACK IN THE BEAUTIFUL GUANTANAMO, AND AS SHE SAID TO ME, HAD A PHARMACIST SQUEAKY VOICE IN THE PEOPLE-WANT TO CLARIFY BEFORE I COME UP, THAT NOT ALL WHO HAVE SQUEAKY VOICE THEY ARE HOW ARE YOU ... BECAUSE IN  THE CHURCH IS A LITTTLE MARRIED MAN, WHO LIKES TO GOSSIP AND HAVE SQUEAKY VOICE AND NOT ... GOSSIP NOT CONSIDERED, OF COURSE, ... EXCUSE ME I SAID.PEOPLE CALLED HIM VERY BADLY AND RUDELY, INVESTED.-MELANIA-ASKED ORLO.-WHAT IS AN INVERTED?_IT A MAN WITH TITS _EVERYTHING SHE HAD TO KNOW SHE SAID.FOR A FEW YEARS ORLO. WONDERED WHERE THAT HID TITS, TITS IF HE HAD OR NOT AND WHAT KIND OF SERIOUS TITS.AT THAT TIME THEY WERE NOT ROUND AND HARD AS IT USED TODAY, BUT CONICAL, SOFT TEATS AND SOMETHING FALLS, THEY WERE NATURALS.HE WAS LOOKING FOR: WOMEN DOCTORS, WRITERS AND SOLO PIANISTS ... THAT IF, SKINNY, WITH RESPECT AND WITHOUT MUCH HOMOPHOBIA AND FEAR OF SACRED WRATH OF ADVOCATES TOLERANCE.WHEN I WAS IN SEVENTH GRADE AND RURAL USED A VERY HEAVY MACHETE TO MY SKINNY AND CUTTING SUGAR CANE WITH GOALS A BODY APPEARED A BIG MAN LIKE A BEAR WITH BREASTS.THAT'S NOT AN INVERTED, MELANIA, THESE VACILLATING ME, FUCKING.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE PIANISTTHE OLD PIANIST, AT HOME FEARS, COMES WITH A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS AT THE BOTTOM AND KNOCKS ON YOUR FRONT DOOR AND DELIVERS IT TO THE PIANIST ... I MEAN, THE BOUQUET, OBVIOUSLY.SOMETHING WORTHY OF RICARDO ARENAS, I THOUGHT, WHEN HE SPOKE OF THE OLD AND GREAT LEZAMA LIMA AND HIS CHORUS OF POETS AND POETASTERS.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THEATER DIRECTORBERNHART WOLF LIVES AND DIRECTS THEATER IN BERLIN EAST AND INHERITED THE GREAT TRADITION OF BRECHTIT HAS PROJECTS IN ACTION IN CHIAPAS, IN SANTIAGO DE CUBA AND NOW A UNIVERSITY IN SOUTH AFRICA, ALTHOUGH HE LIVES WITH HIS NEW WIFE IN STOCKHOLM A LITTLE AND A LITTLE IN THE CITY OF WENDERS AND HIS SKIES WITH ANGELS.WE MET IN MONTEVIDEO, WHEN HE TRAVELED WITH SWEET AND BAREFOOT MAYA, RESIDENT IN GENEVA. THE AMOUNT HERE: "WHERE IS THE EXIT INTERVIEW THE CUBAN HECTOR QUINTERO?" VALUES FOR CULTURAL EXCHANGE AND I MADE ONE OF THE AGES OF HECTOR AND HE ACTED AS THE REPORTER TRAVELLER.THE CUBAN-URUGUAYAN WRITER ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ AS ACTOR.HE READ MY TEXT "BASTA" TRANSLATED BY CANSTET HEINZ, ASKED ME ANOTHER WORK, HE FOTORGRAFIED 72 IMAGES OF MY HOUSE AND TRAVELED TO TACUAREMBO TO SEE IF THE ENERGY WAS INDIVIDUAL OR COLLECTIVE. SAID, IT IS COLLECTIVE.WITH URICH SCHRAEDER, ULI, DISCARD "SPERM SAUCE" AND "LOSERS ALWAYS" AND TRANSLATED "GODS OF CLAY"A BERNHART AND MARA DID NOT LIKE IT.IT'S DEPRESSING, DRACULIANA, AND TOUCHES ON THEMES OF INTROSPECTION AND SILENCE AND PARALYZED THE GERMAN THEATER. ALSO IT IS NOT INTERACTIVE. LACKS DIALOGUE AND GROWTH.AND IT WAS TRUE, HE PREFERRED THE HOPE AND I STARTED TO WRITE RESURRECTION OF CHE AND HIS VISIT TO CONGRESS.SO I PRODUCED "NEVER SAY NEVER" TRANSLATED BY B. HIMSELF.I INVESTIGATE THOROUGHLY, BECAUSE IT IS A GREAT RESEARCHER.I REMEMBER FOR EXAMPLE THAT HOBBES INTERESTED IN THE WORD UNTIL HE FOUND THE OWNER OF THE WORD.HE WORKS WITH WORDS BUT ALSO WITH ACTIONS.I HAND HIM OVER TO SIMONE BECAUSE THE CHOREOGRAPHY IS TOO DIGNIFIED (COST OVER 50,000 DOLLARS) FROM A LARGE THEATER, HE SAID, AND NOT AN UNDERGROUND THEATER OR A UNIVERSITY THEATER IN CAPE TOWN OR POPULAR IN CHIAPAS OR CUBA ...SO FATIGUE AND SILENCE OF EUROPE, REFLECTED IN HIS THEATER, AND ADDED, IN ALL ART, INCLUDING VISUAL NEOBARROCO FILM AND VIDEOS, NOT WHAT I SAY, BUT ONE (AND MANY MORE) EUROPEANOR AT LEAST A BRILLIANT EUROPEAN AND BERNHART, WHO SEDUCED BY MOLIERE, RUNS LATIN AMERICA AND AFRICA.

AMILCAR LEGAZKUEMONTEVIDEO
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MEDICAL EMERGENCY

As always in life ...

MEDICAL EMERGENCY

Aniceto had a prophetic crisis, but without charisma.

A verbal incontinence that constantly threatened with punishment of plagues and catastrophes, inside the old hospital Chinandenga and great erudition and coherence.

Injected with anti-inflammatory and snores placidly neuroleptics.

So, every week, the family bring him to emergency in order the threats become a peaceful tropical nap

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proctologist

It's a very male guajiro but was an amateur to the prostate massage and every week at firm waits his turn.

The proctologo shouts

That comes a nurse. This sick man got me rotten. Or he goes to Japan.

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IMMIGRANT NEW YEAR

Says the Caribbean:

_Look at this sky, no stars have and this water is not like my water sea. In my country the sky and water are so beautiful that you never forget.

Southern says:

_As my little country there is none.

And Peru, invited by the ambassador to dine with the President;

_This ceviche is very wrong. Not as in my country ....

----

Amilcar Legazcue ORLO TALKING WITH ARCO 2000 -Montevideo. Uruguay.

THE TEACHER OF CHEMISTRY AND "OLANDO" When I was in ninth grade the chemistry teacher got sick during school classes. Then came the period of the School to the Field and we stayed in Bayamo, far from home. They put us a professor of

AMAZON BOOK



THE TEACHER OF CHEMISTRY AND "OLANDO"


   When I was in ninth grade the chemistry teacher got sick during school classes. Then came the period of the School to the Field and we stayed in Bayamo, far from home.
   They put us a professor of chemistry black as coal but who ate the "S" when speaking or added them where it did not correspond.
    As I was an outstanding student -modesty aside- when the Professor asked a difficult question, silence reigned among the students. Then he would say "Let's see Olando follow one who answered the difficult questions
    .Result: my classmates nicknamed me "Olando síguete detacando" and the girls added "And tell Celete to get up in the pot-post-
   .But one day I got sick from my throat. The Profe found out and brought the tray of food to my bunk.
  ..- To see Olando has to eat some.I choked on the phrase and started vomiting the food.Then he moved touched my hand over my head and said:-
    Pobrecisto. Pobrecisto

DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
CUBAN URUGUAYEN,URUGUAYAN CUBAN
GENIUS

EL PROFESOR DE QUIMICA Y "OLANDO"

           EL PROFESOR DE QUÍMICA Y “OLANDO”

   Cuando yo estaba en noveno grado la profesora de química se enfermó durante las clases de la escuela. Entonces vino el periodo de la Escuela al Campo y nos albergamos en Bayamo, bien lejos de casa.

   Nos pusieron un profesor de Química negro como el carbón pero que se comía las “S” al hablar o las añadía donde no correspondía. Como yo era un alumno sobresaliente –modestia aparte-  cuando el Profe hacia una pregunta difícil el silencio reinaba entre los alumnos. Entonces él decía “A ver Olando síguete Detacando” y así era siempre. Yo me sentía molesto por ser siempre el que contestaba las preguntas difíciles.

  Resultado: los compañeros míos me apodaron “Olando síguete detacando “y las chicas añadieron “Y dile a Celete que me epere en el pote- poste.

  Pero un día yo me enfermé de la garganta. El Profe se enteró y me trajo la bandeja de comida a la litera.

- A ver Olando tiene que comer algos.

   Yo me atraganté con la frase y empecé a vomitar el alimento. Entonces él conmovido me pasó la mano por la cabeza y me dijo:

   -Pobrecisto. Pobrecisto.
DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ
cubano uruguayo,genio

A MI NO ME DEJABAN ENTRAR.COMO UN PERRO O UN GUSANO

A mí no me dejaban entrar a Cuba por ser médico profesional y haberme quedado. Por fin a los 17 años de separación me dieron carta abierta, pasaporte y el permiso de la embajada para visitar a mi familia. Mi hija había conseguido trabajo- y hasta un novio uruguayo- me acompaño. Solo recuerdo mi llegada a Guantánamo entre lágrimas y besos. Una noche después, estando en el

A mí no me dejaban entrar a Cuba por ser médico profesional y haberme quedado.

   Por fin a los 17 años de separación me dieron carta abierta, pasaporte y el permiso de la embajada para visitar a mi familia. Mi hija había conseguido trabajo- y hasta un novio uruguayo- me acompaño.

    Solo recuerdo mi llegada a Guantánamo entre lágrimas y besos.

   Una noche después, estando en el corredor balanceándome en bermuda por el inclemente calor se acercó mi hijo. Ya era todo un hombre de 20 años guapo por los ejercicios y alto por los genes que le legó la rama de la familia materna.

   Me dio un beso en las mejillas y me preguntó cómo eran las mujeres uruguayas. Yo le dije vaguedades para que no se entusiasmara.

    _Papa, ¿tú te acuerdas de nuestro perro Serafín, aquel caniche que queríamos tanto?

   _ Claro que me acuerdo, hijo.

  _ ¿Y que me dijeron que se había ido al cielo de los perros?

   _ Eras un chico tierno. No se te podía decir la verdad hasta que tú la descubriera por ti mismo.

    -¿Sabes una cosa?

   -¿Qué dime, hijo mío?

   _ El cielo sería muy aburrido sin nuestros perros.DR ORLANDO VICENTE ALVAREZ CUBANO URUGUAYO GENIO